Where is the Love? #PopSongsAboutLove

panasonic radioAs a tween/young teen in the 1970’s, I was a pop-aholic. I guess it all started around ’72. I turned eight that year, and for Christmas, I got my very own Panasonic ball-shaped radio that looked exactly like the one on the left. What more could a kid want? Suddenly, I could listen to AM radio any time, anywhere at all.

Most of the time, that was in my bedroom. And since I lived in suburban Massachusetts, there was only one radio station that mattered: WRKO in Boston, which played Top 40 music. (RIP, Dale Dorman, legendary Boston DJ.) Of course, I didn’t love every song on that station, but I’d listen to it all, patiently waiting for my favorites to come on. Then, when one of them did, it would feel like a victory. I remember sitting on my bed with a notebook, writing down the lyrics to the songs I loved as they played, because I wasn’t sure when I’d hear them again.

Yes, it was all about the lyrics. Sure, the melodies were infectious, but the words were so much more important. I wanted to know them so I could sing along, think about them, imagine what the singer was thinking as he or she sang them. At the time, I had no idea why, but as an adult, it’s clear to me that I was drawn to lyrics because almost every top 40 song in the 70s was about love, or dating, or relationships of some kind. In one way or another, those songs taught me that romantic love involved deep, complicated feelings.

Some of the songs I remember liking best as an elementary/middle/ young high school kid were Tony Orlando and Dawn’s Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Ole Oak Tree, about a guy coming home after being in jail for three years (for robbery) and wondering if his girlfriend still loves him; Jim Croce’s Time in a Bottle; Diana Ross’s Theme from Mahogany (Do You Know Where You’re Going To?) about the heartache of lost love; The Captain and Tenille’s Love Will Keep Us Together; Al Green’s Let’s Stay Together; The Manhattans’ Kiss and Say Goodbye, in which the singer tearfully explains to his girlfriend why they have to break up (presumably, one or both of them is married, but it’s still terribly difficult); Barbra Streisand’s The Way We Were; Barry Manilow’s Mandy, another ballad of lost love; We’ve Only Just Begun by the Carpenters; and Shannon by Henry Gross, about a beloved lost dog. And while all of these songs are about relationships, not one of them is about the importance of physical beauty. They’re all about emotional connections.

Now shortly after I got into high school, I became introduced to a new thing called FM radio, and new stations that played rock & roll. And sure, the songs on FM were about lots of things besides love. But I didn’t discover FM until I was fourteen or fifteen. At that point, I rejected pop and refused to listen to that “cheesy crap” any more. But the pop years were my formative years, and I feel certain that hearing all those sweet songs about true love made a huge impact on my ultimate goals in life. I went through some rough times in my teens and twenties–and was in some pretty bad relationships–but I never lost sight of my desire to be with someone who loved me the way Jim Croce loved the woman he sang to in Time in a Bottle. I knew there was someone out there that I’d love even if he went to jail for three years, like the guy in Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Ole Oak Tree. And because of that faith, I found him.

That’s why the current state of pop music bothers me so much. Because kids—elementary and middle-school kids—listen to pop. Not all of them–of course there are exceptions—but pop tends to be the music that gets played at school dances, shopping malls, bowling alleys, sporting events, and other places kids frequent. Remember listening to Casey Kasem’s American Top 40?  Well Ryan Seacrest is in charge of that operation today, and kids still love to listen to it. But as the mother of an eighth grader, I’m often dismayed when she and her friends get in the car and turn it on.

Why? Well not only because most of the songs are about sex in one form or another, but also because of the huge emphasis most of the songs place on physical appearance. Yes, there are some artists (John Legend, Sam Smith, Taylor Swift, Ed Sheeran, to name a few) who are still able to get airplay for sincere songs about love and relationships, but the main focus of most Top 40 songs these days seems to be on booty, breasts, legs, lips, body parts that people want to touch, body parts that people aren’t allowed to touch, drinking, partying, and sex (with no talk of love). And before you call me a cranky old lady, have a listen for yourself.

I’m not a prude and I don’t believe in censorship for artists, except in extreme situations. But I can’t understand why pop—fun, pure, pop—has become so body-focused. More importantly, how are these messages affecting our kids? What do they think when they sing along with “Talk Dirty to Me”, “Anaconda”, “Bang Bang”, and “Chandelier?” Is it possible for them to still believe in the existence of true love, or do they think sex, looking hot, drinking, and having the right kind of booty are more critical?

A few years back, Adele was all over pop radio—and she offered some real hope—but even she seems to be gone from the airwaves these days. One of my daughter’s friends recently asked me who Aretha Franklin was, and my heart sank.

I want to believe though. I want to believe there are artists out there–on pop radio–who have their hearts in the right place. A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a post titled “Are Lyrics Dead in Pop Music?” and it got a good deal of feedback. People wrote to tell me about the amazing lyrics in contemporary rap, indie, alternative, and country music. And I’d never dispute that. There are some incredibly gifted artists writing in those musical genres. But most middle school kids aren’t listening to that stuff. Most of them are listening to pop, and I really wish more pop artists would sing songs that feature lyrics about relationships that go deeper than physical attraction and one-night-stands.

Do you know of any such artists and/or songs? If so, please let me know. Feel free to comment on this post, or, of you prefer to use Twitter, please consider using the hashtag #PopMusicAboutLove. Here are a few songs I’ve heard that I think are in that category, and I’m going to tweet them.

John Legend–All of Me

Taylor Swift —Love Story

Ed Sheeran–Afire Love

Sam Smith–Not in that Way

Thank you for reading, and again, I welcome any and all feedback!



About Mary Rowen

My three published novels, LEAVING THE BEACH (a 2016 IPPY Award winner), LIVING BY EAR, and IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THAT WAY focus on women figuring out who they are and what they want from life. Music and musicians have a way of finding their way into the stories. I live in the Boston area with my family and pets.
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6 Responses to Where is the Love? #PopSongsAboutLove

  1. denarogers says:

    I love these post Mary, the ones that make you think! I honestly don’t listen to a lot of pop music. Although I love all genres, I mostly listen to country these days (my kids do to), and I can tell you that this trend isn’t only in pop- it’s everywhere! Country lyrics are riddled with big trucks, a cold beer and girls in short shorts wiggling it. It’s not exactly the kind of stuff I want my boys to think is cool. I’m personally a big fan of Miranda Lambert- She’s not a role model for youngsters (she fully admits this), but her songs aren’t so much about body type and sex. I actually thought about one of her songs-Automatic- when I began reading the part about you waiting for your favorite song to come on the radio and there is another country song by Maddi & Tae that makes fun of the girls in country songs, that I find funny. I’m babbling now … Thanks for the post … and I was just thinking of Adele the other day. Loved her!


  2. Mary Rowen says:

    Thank you for the great comment, Dena. I don’t listen to much country, and when I do, it’s Hank Williams, Patsy Cline, and Johnny Cash. So it’s interesting and a bit sad to hear that the sex/body trend is alive and well there too. Maybe it’s just a phase in our culture?

    I will check out Maddi and Tae too. And yes, I do hope Adele comes back sometime soon. I believe she’s got a little one at home these days, so perhaps that’s why she’s been off the scene for a while.


  3. jan says:

    You brought back many lovely memories of the days when love ballads were, at least on the surface, more innocent (though my husband tells me that many of them – like Louie, Louie – actually were about sex and not the type between two lovers.) Don’t know of any modern day balladeers – would be lovely if Adele came back! Have you ever written a love ballad?


  4. Mary Rowen says:

    That’s funny, Jan, about Louie Louie! I’ve heard rumors of that before, so I checked on Snopes and here’s their take on it (not that they’re the authorities).

    I agree with what you say about “on the surface” too. I’ve definitely heard some 70s songs recently and thought, “Ohhhh. That’s what they were talking about?” But even the songs about sex were pretty subtle, not in your face like they are now. Of course, I was the dopey one who thought “Afternoon Delight” was about going to an amusement park or something.


  5. Sher says:

    Was recently listening to Panic At the Disco and Fall Out Boy. Also My Chemical Romance. Maybe not always about love and relationships, but even when they throw in sexual innuendo there are deeper meanings in those songs. I love the new hashtags, too — #WhereistheLove and #PopSongsAboutLove. Very cool post.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Mary Rowen says:

    Thanks, Sher! I think that’s the key–trying to find songs with deeper meanings, not just sex for the sake of a fun time. Need to listen to more Panic and Fall Out Boy. Have liked MCR for a long time!


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