I’m so grateful to Emma at Writer in a Wheelchair for her wonderful review of Living by Ear. It’s so nice that I don’t even want to post an excerpt, but you can read the entire review here.
Thank you so much, Emma!
And to anyone interested in winning a signed paperback copy of Living by Ear, just enter this
Thanks for reading!!
The Living by Ear blog tour went on a brief hiatus yesterday, but today it’s back with extra power!
Instead of one blog review, there are two: one from Two Children and a Migraine, and one from Storm Goddess Book Reviews! Please go check them out of you have a moment.
Also, don’t forget to enter the Rafflecopter giveaway! Just click on the link to learn how you can enter to win a signed paperback copy of Living by Ear.
Here’s the full blog tour schedule.
November 10 – 4.5 star review from Chick Lit Plus!
November 11 –Great review from Two Children and a Migraine
November 12 – 4 Lightning Bolts from Storm Goddess Book Reviews!
November 13 – Writer in a Wheelchair
November 14 – Authors and Readers Book Corner
November 17 – Jersey Girl Book Reviews
Dear Readers,
This is a big day for me, as it’s launch day for the Living by Ear blog tour. A whole bunch of wonderful bloggers have been kind enough to read and review the novel, and they’ll be posting their honest reviews of it from November 11-November 17. I’m a little nervous, but also excited. The company running the tour is called CLP Blog Tours, and they’ve done a terrific job getting everything set up.
Here’s the full tour schedule. Each day this week–and next Monday too!–I’ll be linking to the blog that reviews Living by Ear.
November 10 – 4.5 star review from Chick Lit Plus!
November 11 – Two Children and a Migraine
November 12 – Storm Goddess Book Reviews
November 13 – Writer in a Wheelchair
November 14 – Authors and Readers Book Corner
November 17 – Jersey Girl Book Reviews
And to make things even more fun, I’ve set up
Just click on the link to learn how you can enter to win a signed paperback copy of Living by Ear. Best of luck to all!
Thank you, Mary Rowen, for joining the Age is Just a Number blog series. Mary is the author ofLiving by Ear and today she shares her thoughts on turning 50. Her comments regarding the randomness of life really does drive home the point that age isn’t everything.
On Turning Fifty
When I think of fifty, the first thing that comes to mind is Molly Shannon as Sally O’Malley on SNL, kicking and stretching. When I first saw that skit, I laughed hysterically. It seemed reasonable at the time—I was in my thirties—to assume that women start to lose it a bit when they hit the big 5-0.
But now that I’m here, I don’t spend much time telling people about my age, or kicking and stretching either, for that matter. And honestly, I like myself a lot more at fifty than I did thirty years ago.
If that sounds crazy…
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Hi Readers,
As Living by Ear–the new edition, published by Booktrope in September 2014–gets ready to go on a blog tour next week (November 10-November 17, 2014), I thought this might be an appropriate time to revisit one of the coolest reviews it got when it was self published in 2013. The reviewer is the amazing Glenda Bixler from the blog Book Reader’s Heaven, and when this review came out in May of 2013, all I could say was, “Wow!”
Please note, however, that Living by Ear now has a brand new cover and 
the link to buy it is different as well. If you’re interested in checking out the new version, you can find it here on Amazon. I’m getting excited about the book tour next week! Will publish the complete schedule tomorrow.
Photo by Luke Chesser
Recently, I did a book talk at a local senior center. Their book club had read Living by Ear, and they’d invited me to visit.
Now, since both of my books feature characters who love music—particularly music by artists known for their poetic lyrics (Bob Dylan, Lucinda Williams, Bruce Springsteen, Elvis Costello, David Bowie, etc.)—I fully expected music to be part of the discussion. Usually when I meet with book groups, people like to talk about the musical artists and bands that have influenced their lives. But no matter what style of music they enjoy—be it rock, pop, country, R&B, or standards—the discussion usually focuses on lyrics, and the messages in the songs.
At this recent meeting, however, one woman raised her hand and stated that she believes the era of popular lyric-driven music has ended, at least for the Millennial generation. She pointed out that much of the music that teenagers and college-age people listen to today is focused primarily on rhythm, beat, and repetition of words or phrases, rather than traditional lyrics.
People in the room began to nod. “Yes,” said another woman. “My granddaughter said she doesn’t care about the words to the songs on the radio. She just wants something to dance to.”
“It’s sad,” said someone else. “Music used to have meaning.” The nodding increased.
Then the woman who’d made the original statement raised her hand again. “And there’s a good reason for this,” she said. “The world is so complicated and frightening these days that kids need a strong rhythm to calm them. It’s like being in a rocking chair. The beat comforts them.”
I considered that. Sure, past generations have had to deal with wars, global disease, famine, tragedy, and crisis. But none of it was in their faces the way it is today. When I was growing up, adults worried about children seeing the Vietnam War on TV, but our kids can see far more graphic violence right on their cell phones. They also get news of world events immediately because it shows up in the newsfeed on their phones; there’s no distance for them, no perspective at all. And although many of us know people who’ve been killed or seriously damaged in wars like Vietnam, Iraq and Afghanistan, it wasn’t until 9/11 that most Americans worried about terrorism on our own soil.
Could that be why my teenage daughter—an intelligent girl—is such a huge pop fan? Every time we get in the car together, she’ll immediately switch the radio from my station (I’m partial to Sirius XMU) to one of the pop stations. Of course, we argue about music all the time—good naturedly—and she freely admits that the lyrics of most pop songs are silly, unintelligible, highly sexual, or all three. But she doesn’t care. (Not up on the current pop scene? Check out “Bang Bang,” which is at number four on American Top 40 this week.)
“Wow,” I said to the woman at the senior center. “I’ve never thought about it that way.” Do Millennials listen to crap because they need it for comfort? Are they so worried about ISIS, Ebola, terrorist attacks, and all the other scary things in the news that they require a driving beat to calm them down? Is the pop music I criticize so often, in fact, a mechanism for staying sane?
Another woman raised her hand. “I don’t think we’re giving our young people enough credit,” she said. “We sound like a bunch of old ladies.” She went on to point out how her parents and grandparents slammed the music of her youth (the Beatles and Rolling Stones), which is now considered classic and genius. She also noted that although she doesn’t necessarily enjoy the rap music her grandson listens to, she knows he listens to it for the words and messages. “I don’t like some of the messages in rap,” she admitted, “but I don’t think it’s fair to say kids don’t care about words any more.”
At that moment, Ed Sheeran popped into my mind. I consider Ed to be pretty brilliant, and he manages to get played a lot on pop radio, despite the fact that he’s a true singer-songwriter. And come to think of it, my daughter always sings along with him. So maybe there is hope for popular music with inspired lyrics. And maybe—just maybe—the party music craze will run its course and the pendulum will swing back the other way.
What do you think? Are lyrics dead in the world of pop music, or will singer-songwriters begin to gain ground again? Can Ed Sheeran lead a revolution, or will he remain an anomaly on the American Top 40? I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Tomorrow, November 1, 2014, is the first ever Arlington, MA Book Festival at the beautiful Robbins Library. I’m honored to be on a panel called NEW PATHWAYS TO PUBLISHING at 11:00 am, and that’s only the tip of the iceberg. Check out the schedule below! I hope to see you there!
LOCATION: Robbins Library, 700 Mass. Ave, Arlington, MA 02476
TIME: 10:00 am – 4:00 pm
COST: FREE!
Arlington Book Festival Schedule:
9:45 Welcome (Reading Room)
10:00 Authoring Children’s Books (Reading Room)
There’s magic and mystery in creating great books for kids. Panel moderator: Jef Czekaj, award-winning children’s author Panelists: Miriam Glassman, Sarah Lamstein, Adam J.B. Lane, Stephen Sanzo
10:00 Art of Writing Memoirs (Community Room)
Learn the honest truth about making up your story. Panel moderator: Lynette Benton, author and writing coach Panelists: William Buffett, Miriam Levine, Jane Davenport Platko, Oakes Plimpton
11:00 New Pathways to Publishing (Reading Room)
Set your creativity GPS. Panel moderator: Matt Clark, creative director of Provincetown Public Press Panelists: Sam Kafrissen, Marit Menzin, Mary Rowen, Miriam Stein
11:00 Writing on the Subject of Mental, Physical, and Spiritual Health (Community Room)
Authors who change lives through the written word. Panel moderator: Linda Varone, author and Feng Shui consultant Panelists: Pamela Donleavy, Emily Fox-Kales, Ph.D., Raman Prasad, Holly Lebowitz Rossi
12:00 – 1:00 Lunch break, book sales
1:00 Doing Research for Your Writing (Reading Room)
Google is for amateurs! Panel moderator: Michèle Meagher, Robbins Library PLUGGED iN coordinator Panelists: Kecia Ali, John Burt, Gary Goshgarian, Miles Unger
1:00 Feeding the Fire: How to Engage Your Community(Community Room)
Creative ways of sharing your work. Panel moderator: Jessie Brown, published poet and teacher Panelists: Michelle Bates Deakin, Ghanda Di Figlia, Maria Judge, Charles Schwab
2:00 Story Craft (Reading Room)
Beyond the beginning, the middle, and the end. Panel moderator: John Chu, Hugo Award Winner Panelists: Kendall Dudley, Anjali Mitter Duva, Mike Heppner
2:00 Promoting Your Work (Community Room)
Side effects of self-promotion: nausea, dizziness, and success. Panel moderator: Matt Clark, creative director of Provincetown Public Press Panelists: Jennifer Goebel, Carolyn Jenks, Tony McMillen, Valerie Ann Prescott
3:00 Featured Speaker: Steve Almond (Community Room)
There’s Murder In That Game: Steve Almond Tackles Football, America’s Biggest Sacred Cow
4:15 – 4:45 Final book sales
Today, on the blog, I’m featuring a guest post by author Kimberly Castillo. Kimberly has recently self published a book called The Convenience of Lies, a story of friendship, mystery, crime, sex and betrayal. Kimberly is a strong believer in self-publishing, and her post is below.
By the way, before we get to Kimberly’s post, I’d like to say that I also believe in self-publishing for some authors. Before publishing Living by Ear with Booktrope, I self-published it, and it was a very good experience for me. My biggest problem with self-publishing was with marketing, but Kimberly seems to be doing a great job of that on her own. Thank you, Kimberly, and congratulations! I look forward to reading The Convenience of Lies.
Self-Publishing is the Future
Two separate small publishers offered me contracts to publish The Convenience of Lies. I turned both of them down because I didn’t like the terms they were offering. For both contracts I would receive minimal royalties (less than $0.25/copy sold), would be required to do all of my own publicity, and I would have to sign away the rights to my book. One publisher even required me to pay my own editor! At that point, it seemed like all the publishers were really providing for me was cover art and prestige, and for a very high price.
To be honest, I didn’t want to sell myself out like this. The Convenience of Lies is a project I started 10 years ago and I have truly invested my heart, time, money, and soul. While I was shopping my book around the traditional publishing world, it fell into the hands of an editorial reviewer, who gave me a glowing review of my work. Not only that, but my mom is a high school English teacher and she’s had boys in her class who don’t like to read complete it in one night, by choice. I was not about to let a traditional publisher take advantage of my creation.
At the same time as I was querying publishers, I was also researching self-publishing. I discovered that I could self-publish through Amazon’s CreateSpace and receive royalties of over $5.00/copy, which is more than a 20x increase from traditional publishing. Also, CreateSpace has a cover creator tool that I could use to generate the cover, and has a print on demand option. Meaning, when someone orders my book from Amazon, CreateSpace prints it, takes their cut of the profit, and sends me the royalties. There is no up-front cost for either party.
Not only is self-publishing arguably a better business decision, due to the internet it is now the choice of the future. We are in an era where we don’t need a publisher to reach our audience. The internet has cut out the middle man and made it so that artists can reach their audience directly. This applies not only to publishing your book, but also to promoting your book. Between tumblr, twitter, facebook, reddit, and the blogosphere, you can reach out directly to readers as I am doing now. Keep in mind that many traditional publishers require authors to do this promotional work. So, let me ask you, what is that traditional publisher really doing for its authors?
As ironic as it is for me to say as an author, the world of traditional publishing is ending. Artists can now affordably create professional works and also reach their audience as never before. Not only that (and a real cincher) the author can also keep possession of the rights to their works through self-publishing. The world of traditional publishing is simply taking too much from authors and not giving them enough in return. The internet has cut out the middle man with the connections and has given you direct access to those connections. As they say, it is simply up to you to seize this opportunity.
Writer February Grace was kind enough to feature an interview with me on her Clockwork Conversations blog today. February likes to interview writers about things that aren’t writing, so it was really fun chatting with her.
Here’s the link–please check it out!
–Mary
Photo by Alejandro Escamilla
If there’s one topic that all women can relate to in one way or another, it’s weight. And yet, even in these supposedly enlightened times, there’s still a lot of stress, confusion and conflict around the whole business of body mass. I’m neither a doctor nor an expert, but as a long-term eating disorders veteran (the word “survivor” evokes far too many memories of bad 80s music for my taste), I can say with confidence that every person is extremely unique, and we all need to figure out what works best for us as individuals if we wish to stay healthy and happy.
So why is it that so many of us are still looking for universal solutions? Why is it that in 2014, people are still preaching about diets—like the Paleo—which advocates say will work for everyone? Why can’t we—as intelligent, complex beings—accept that taking care of ourselves isn’t easy, and that there’s no cookie-cutter solution to good health?
Now before I go any further, let me say that certain choices—smoking cigarettes, abusing alcohol and drugs, etc.—are never good. If you want to live a long, happy life, please avoid those things. Another universally bad choice is shaming people for their appearance. If you know someone that you think may be too heavy or too thin, please don’t make them feel bad about themselves. Instead, if it seems appropriate, perhaps you can suggest that they talk to their doctor or see a therapist who may be able to help.
OK, so let’s get back to the other stuff. First of all, it’s a fact that obesity is an epidemic in America, as is diabetes. These diseases destroy countless lives every year and cost millions of dollars in healthcare spending. It’s also true that many of the bad eating habits associated with these illnesses begin in childhood, so I applaud Michelle Obama and the thousands of health professionals who’ve worked tirelessly on initiatives to combat youth obesity. Their work is seeing good results, and that’s a great thing.
Unfortunately, another serious health problem is also quite prevalent among American youth (especially girls): anorexia. One statistic I found on the website of ANAD (National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders) states that the mortality rate associated with anorexia is 12 times higher than the death rate associated with all causes of death for females between the ages of 15 and 24. And yet, as our school cafeterias eliminate foods high in fat and calories, kids at risk of becoming anorexic are receiving messages that are quite detrimental to them. Trust me: as a former anorexic who knows several young women currently suffering from this disease, not all kids need to limit fat intake, nor should they be instructed to do so. I know this is a complicated situation and that everyone’s doing their best to make the country healthier, but I urge parents and guardians concerned about their children’s weight—especially if they suspect eating disorders—to make an appointment with a physician, therapist, or certified nutritionist. These people can assess a child as an individual and give advice specific advice. And with any luck, the child will listen.
And speaking of listening, it’s hard not to listen to pop music and the various messages we receive from it every day. Hundreds, if not thousands, of books have been written on that topic, but I’d like to focus on just a couple of the songs that are popular right now, and look at the messages they convey about body image.
The first is Meghan Trainor’s infectious hit “All About That Bass” celebrates those of us who “ain’t no size two.” Ms. Trainor strikes me as an intelligent, healthy woman, and a sharp, talented songwriter. I’m certain she’s helped a lot of larger women feel sexy and positive about their bodies with her song, and that’s a magnificent achievement. But every time I hear it, I can’t help cringing at the line, “Boys like a little more booty to hold at night.” Come on, now! Let’s not worry about what the boys like. Women’s bodies aren’t here for boys and men to enjoy. Our bodies are the containers in which we carry around our hearts, minds, and souls, and they need to work for us, first and foremost. So just as we shouldn’t worry about a bit of extra weight, our goal shouldn’t be adding pounds so that men will have something extra to squeeze.
Similarly, Nicki Minaj’s song “Anaconda” pays tribute to curvaceous women, and I commend her for that. Ms. Minaj is an incredibly gifted songwriter and rapper, as well as a beautiful woman who appears healthy and extremely comfortable in her own skin. All of which make her a strong female role model for young girls. She has also spoken out about downplaying sex appeal and focusing on using intelligence to get ahead in life. So does she really need to include the line, “F*ck those skinny bitches?” in her song? How does that help girls who weren’t blessed with curvy bodies?
I guess what I’m saying is that although I’m glad we’ve got both government initiatives and pop culture working to engender healthier bodies and attitudes in America, we’ve still got a way to go. Certainly, there’s no one solution to our “weighty” problems. What works for one person probably won’t work for another, so I hope people will take the time to discuss their health, weight and related issues with qualified professionals.
MaryRowen.com 